where does that leave me

I've been suffering with anxiety on and off for most of my life. It's increased over the past 10 years or so. At times so much that it quite interferes with my life. Lately (the past month) it's been doing just that. Doctors and others ask me if 'something' happened to bring it about. Well, no. there was no big event. It's a build up of all the little (and not so little) events that go on in my daily life.
You have to understand, I live in somewhat of a PTSD world. There is always an underlying "what if" or "when will" state of mind. When will one of the kids have a rage or meltdown? When will I get that phone call from school? When will I need to break up a fight? When will my child go into crisis. When will I be called a bitch or be attacked by my own son?
This undercurrent never goes away. Never. It is always there. Even when things are going fairly well - like they are now, It is still there. I have to be on guard -so to speak- at all times.
I am always in a state of anxiety. I think my normal anxiety level, when you compare it to another person, Is high to begin with. So when I am struggling with increased anxiety - WOW! It's up there.

Meds:
I've been on several different antidepressants and anti anxiety drugs over the years. The one that seems to work best for me is Effexor. Well, it doesn't seem to work all that well lately.  My doctor has just given me Klonapin to add to it.I'm on a super low dose which seems to barely take the edge off. I have the freedom to increase it depending on my needs. I want to start low. Take the least amount possible to provide relief.

Therapy:
I'm having therapy pushed on me. Learn how to relax. get exercise. Talk it out. Work out a plan. Family meetings.
I just don't know. I'm not all that interested in therapy. Not now. I've worked with and met my share of total wacko therapists and I really don't have a lot of faith in 99% of them. They have no clue. I'm tired of people suggesting that my son tries a new med. That I should send him to a special school. Enroll him in scouts or karate. If any of those ideas worked - would I be in this situation? I've tried it. Anything you can offer me - I've done.
Where does that leave me? Good question. Really good question.